Happy Hanukkah Ya Filthy Schmuck Unisex Childrens Toddler

Happy Hanukkah Ya Filthy Schmuck Unisex Childrens Toddler

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Kids ugly hanukkah sweater. Funny Hanukkah sweater. HAPPY HANUKKAH YA FILTHY SCHMUCK (NOT YA FILTHY ANIMAL).

So here you go. Officially doing it. Finally pulled the trigger and made this for our in-house toddler, my son, Eli. You see that picture? I like to imagine he's like a 2 year old Larry David running outside after catchign a meter maid mid-ticket (but that point where they're like OHH ITS ALREADY WRITTEN TOO LATE SORRY) and he's just like "WHAT GIVES?! YA SCHMUCK. HAPPY HANUKKAH, YA FILTHY SCHMUCK." and storms off to finish his glass of apple juice at dinner.

That's right. Not ya filthy animal. Because that's just too easy. Let's take a page out of bubbie's book and tell someone off like we mean it. I don't recall the first time I remember hearing the word schmuck, but bubbie really enjoyed saying it. A lot. It's right up there with OY VEY in being part of every Jew (and non-jew for that matter) vocabulary. Jewcabulary?

This shirt is inspired by my alternate universe idea whereby Kevin McCallister was not Kevin McCallister.

Go on an adventure with me....

It's the holiday season, 1990. A young boy, Kevin Stein is getting ready to travel to Boca to visit his bubbie with his family. Unfortunately for him, they leave earlier than anticipated - now this is plausible because everyone knows us Jews are never on time. Ever. Especially when traveling in groups, and that's increased exponentially when traveling to the airport together. So anyway they leave earlier than expected, Kevin slept in anticipating a late departure per usual only to find that he has the whole house to himself. What does he do? Fuckin' rage. That's the plot for Home Alone Jew.

So you know the scene in the movie (in the other universe, not this magical one I'm cooking up)...MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMAL (this is actually from Home Alone 2, but we're stretching here it's ok) ... Kevin Stein (we're back in the other universe now) he orders Chinese Food Delivery, and when it's delivered he recites the line on this sweater...HAPPY HANUKKAH YA FILTHY SCHMUCK. But he doesn't have a BB gun or fireworks because no Jewish mother would let their son have those, so there's a lot less excitement here. The guy just walks away confused and Kevin eats his lo mein and watches the rest of his movie.

If you read all that sorry